Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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