Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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