at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
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