so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm like, not good at living.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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