Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
