ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
