I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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