I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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