I can tuck mytits in my pants
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
