apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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