All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
