Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
