the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text