i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
