hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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