That's science, my friend. Boner science.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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