We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
there was a trapeze. enough said
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
