Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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