whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
