I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
