i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
