508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
