Don't you send me to vm
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
