That's intense
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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