Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
