I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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