is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
