i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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