I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
