Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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