You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
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You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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