Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i dont even know how to be here
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize