Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
