well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
