Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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