they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize