Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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