its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She told me I should be a condom model.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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