the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
