just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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