the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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