3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
