She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
