come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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