dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
