Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
