By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
