I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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