he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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