it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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