party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Damn victory sex feels great
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
