I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I love you. Go after that dick
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
