Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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