well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.