Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.