I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn