sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
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Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode