yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
