i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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