yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
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Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
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I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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